How to Reconnect with your children
When life has become too hectic
As you may already know I am a mother to two beautiful blue-eyed boys. Being a parent is hard and I would venture to say it is even harder on the mother. Reason for this is the unsurmountable guilt we feel when we do not do everything perfect when it comes to raising our kids. I have given myself pep talk after pep talk on how I have surely not completely screwed my kid’s life up by actions I’ve taken or things I’ve said. Am I the only one that feels this way?? Let’s hope not.
Running a home and career can make life very hectic and it is easy to lose one another in our daily tasks. Often times my husband and I come home late from work and rehash our day, make and serve dinner and prep for the following day without ever really slowing down to see where the minds of our boys are. Now in defense they have little interest these days in spilling their guts to us so we move around each other without really connecting.
Connecting with your children can be difficult because let’s face it they are kids and we are adults. Life looks different to each of us. Our interests and priorities are very different.
Bringing your child into your world can be an awesome way to connect and even may create a special occasion the two of you can share time and again.
Today Aiden and I went to Starbucks for a day date following our Church service. Michael took Kyran with him for some one on one time as well.
It was the absolute perfect setting. We walked up to the counter and discussed our order and each went out of the norm and ordered unique drinks. His being a toasted white-hot chocolate with a pump of peppermint and mine being a Toasted white chocolate mocha with almond milk and light whip cream. We made sure he didn’t leave the counter without a chocolate cake pop also.
We found an open oversized chair right in front of the lit fire place. This is my favorite Starbucks in town as it has a double-sided fireplace one side in the building and the other on the patio. It was just a little too cold to sit outside even with the fireplace so we opted to sit in the big chair together. He devoured his cake pop while I picked up our drinks from the counter. We sat there together and I asked him questions to engage him. If you have boys you understand that they are not talkers. Boys are unique and as a mother it can be difficult to communicate with them. I started with a basic question regarding Church service and how his morning class was. Aiden has the gift of remembering most things he is taught, events and/or activities he participates in. it is truly remarkable. He gives me the details of his service and I fill him in on mine.
Following this I go right into asking about school and if he is excited to return. I ask him pointed questions that directly impact him.
– If someone asks you what your favorite part about Christmas was what would you answer be?
– If someone asks you what your favorite part about New Year’s Eve was what would your answer be?
– Are you looking forward to seeing your friends in class? Named off a few of these friends here.
He is super in to video games right now and says that is his favorite past time. So, I shared with him who the top Youtube earner from 2017 was and that he, in fact, is a gamer. He thought that was awesome and has now decided when he grows up that is what he will be. Dream big, little one. You can be whatever you want to be.
This date was such a great way for me to spend time with Aiden one on one with no distractions and just connect by bringing each other into our thoughts and our lives. It erases any previous aggravations that may have occurred and just set the tone for a positive day.
It is easy to think that our children have no interest in our adult lives but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. It is about combining the two lives and finding that common connection. Ours happened to be that cozy oversized chair at Starbucks. Oh and to quote Aiden “I am never getting normal hot chocolate again”. Lol he said it was delicious and the best he has ever had. I may have created a monster. Sorry, Husband!
Do you any ideas and stories you can share with me where you have reconnected with your children?